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February Feelings

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Homemade Hot Cocoa Mix #hotcocoa #homemade #hotchocolate #tableforsevenblog

Hello-

I’m back to the blog today and getting ready to jump back into sharing some great food with all of you.

Before I do that, I wanted to share a few things about what has been going on with me the last few weeks. Actually, it’s been quite a bit longer than that. But, the last few weeks is has all come to a head and I just needed to take a step back and take care of myself.

I normally don’t share much really personal stuff with my readers, but, I thought this was an important topic and know that others deal with the same issues. By sharing, I’m hoping to let these readers know that they aren’t alone. 

Friends, I suffer from depression. Along with that, anxiety.

You may have noticed, I have a little link on my main menu marked Eliza.  Eliza is my daughter. She passed away at the mere age of 31 days back in 2012. To sum it up quickly..it was hell.

I tried to be tough and handle it. But, I couldn’t. I started seeing a therapist and taking medication.

Things got better.

I stopped taking my meds and gradually decreased my therapy sessions. I was finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Then, my mom died.

Again, I tried to be tough and thought…hey! I can do this.

Wrong.

My mom passed away in 2016 and gradually, things have gotten tougher to deal with. I still didn’t go back on my meds, because, I didn’t think I was “that depressed”. I wasn’t crying my eyes out anymore. I didn’t feel “sad” all the time.

Oh Erin, how naive of you!

Depression is so much more than just crying or feeling sad.

It can be feelings of anger, guilt, hopelessness and physical pain. You can also feel as if you can’t control your own thoughts/feelings or just feel numb.

For me, not dealing with my depression has caused my already worrisome nature to turn into full blown anxiety.

I worry about everything. Yes, everyone has worries. Especially, if you have kids. My anxiety has gone to a level above that. It’s affected my sleeping, my eating, and now, I find out, it has exacerbated a heart issue. It didn’t cause the heart issue, but, it made a simple condition worse. By not dealing with it head on, I’m now dealing with so much more.

Also, I thought by just “handling it” and not admitting it, I was being a better mom. I was “SUPER MOM!”. I could do it all…homeschool, handle kids daily schedules, run a blog, run a household..you know the drill.

In short: I was so busy taking care of everyone else, I wasn’t taking care of myself.

The good news is….I’m now taking care of it. Fully. I’m not going to be naive and think it’s just going to “go away”. I’m putting my mental and physical health first. Because, if I’m not doing OK, then, my kids aren’t and my husband isn’t. In turn, my entire family is affected. And that, sucks.

My advice to anyone: If you are feeling depressed, sad, overwhelmed, full of anxiety..anything.
Please, get help : Talk to your doctor, your partner, your family, your friends, a co-worker..anyone you can reach out to.


(source)

Here are a few national resources:

Thanks for reading and listening. If you have read my blog for years, months, weeks, days or just one little recipe..I greatly appreciate it. I know a lot of bloggers say that, but, gosh, I really mean it.

Lastly, you are amazing and your life is worth it. Remember that.

Erin

 
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Karen Nick

Saturday 23rd of February 2019

I read your post and it brought back some memories, some good and some not so good. I lost three children years ago...I was not able to carry to full term but seeing I was a woman that wanted 5 children to learn I was not going to be able to have any it was heart breaking. I always carried the pain deep inside. Once I went thru therapy for couple of years I was able to release that despair. I also lost my mom at a time when everything was falling apart in my personal / professional life. Again the therapy helped me so much. I was able to work past the sadness, work thru the pain and now I am in the best place. It takes time and you will find happiness....your stories and recipes help me too......keep up the good work?

Erin Table for Seven

Sunday 24th of February 2019

Thank you for sharing you story Karen. I'm so very sorry for all your loss. Yes, therapy does help tremendously. Hugs to you.

Diana G

Monday 18th of February 2019

Dear lady- I am very glad you received the help you needed. My family is going thru a Naracisstic event with his parents , they have attacked my daughters for year out of their hatred for me. My youngest daughter threated to kill her self because no one loved her at the age of 11, thank goodness we got her help. Even as an adult she is thriving and still talks to people about how Narcassistic people can ruin lives and think nothing of it. Everyone I tell the whole story to, can only shake their heads in disbelief that there is such people, until they have met them.

I am so sorry for your loss and its a big one for your family. May the good Lord help you out as well as other needed items in your life, whatever they maybe. Please, rmemeber you are a precious person who is needed and has needs. Please, be sure to continue to take care of yourself for you.

Erin Table for Seven

Tuesday 19th of February 2019

I'm sorry for what your family has gone through Diana. I'm glad that your daughter is doing better. Thank you for sharing your story and kind words.

Debbie

Monday 18th of February 2019

I feel that everyone has had issues with depression and anxiety. Meds really help, but I can certainly sympathize with what you felt. You will be in my parayers.

Erin Table for Seven

Tuesday 19th of February 2019

Thank you Debbie.

Tricia

Monday 18th of February 2019

Your words are powerful and inspirational! Keep taking care of yourself- you are amazing !!

Erin Table for Seven

Monday 18th of February 2019

Thank you Tricia!!

Connie Gilbreath

Monday 18th of February 2019

I can very much sympathize with what you have been dealt.My husband died on 12-29-2018,my Mother on 1-29-2019.and my very favorite uncle died on 1-6-19 two days after my Mother's service.I feel like I've been socked in the stomach with boxing gloves.My abdominal area is actually very tender.I am lonely,grief stricken,sad and somewhat handi-capped trying to find some happiness in this world but right now it is very difficult.I suppose time will heal matters to a certain degree.I'm not sure but thinking of moving to an 50 plus apts. to be surrounded by other people in my age group.The temp. is cold in Texas right now so it would be a farther down the road.The lack of steps entering home would be most helpful.I would like to get back to myself in order to help being a voice for handicapped for better accessability.Not sure where to start getting my self back to"normal".

Erin Table for Seven

Monday 18th of February 2019

Hi Connie..I'm so very sorry for all your loss. I can relate to the socked in the stomach feeling. It is possible to find happiness again, but, it takes time. Please speak to someone about your feelings. If you don't have someone close, you can reach help at the numbers that I listed in this post. I think the over 50 community sounds like a good idea. I have family that lives in a similar type of community and they love it. Thank you so much for sharing. It's a very brave thing to do. Sending you a virtual hug and good thoughts.

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